


Gone With the Sprinklers

by Lush_Specimen



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Gen, Karaoke, Minimegs, Ultra Magnus writes fanfic, about sprinklers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 04:24:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15283584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lush_Specimen/pseuds/Lush_Specimen
Summary: According to Swerve in Lost Light #20, Ultra Magnus writes fanfic about sprinklers.Late one night Ultra Magnus responds to an emergency, leaving his open datapad on the bar.  Swerve can't help but peek at what Mags has been working on, surprised to learn that the stoic lawbot is a secret author.





	Gone With the Sprinklers

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during MTMTE sometime after Megatron and Riptide join the crew.

"Another successful karaoke night," Swerve said to no one in particular as he surveyed his disheveled bar and stuffed cash box. Ten had slowly begun the arduous process of cleaning up, righting turned over chairs and collecting glasses to be washed. Only the usual late-night crowd remained, Jackpot and Mainframe nursed their drinks and giggled in a corner booth, Riptide was curled up around a bar stool on the floor, snoring peacefully, and Ultra Magnus sat with perfect posture at the bar, sipping a weak energon spritzer and tapping away at a datapad. 

Swerve started to wipe down the tables with a smile. When he first started karaoke nights, he expected a lot of things, mainly increased revenue, but Ultra Magnus' fantastic singing was not one of them. Mags always took the first songs, before anyone else showed up and usually stayed late to sing a few more after everyone left or passed out. These private performances had quickly become Swerve's favorite part of the night. He suspected Riptide secretly enjoyed listening to Mags sing as well since he only 'passed out' on karaoke nights. 

He moseyed over to Mags to ask him whether he felt like Frank Sinatra or the Backstreet Boys tonight when Tailgate burst through the door in a panic. To be fair, Tailgate's default setting was just slightly below panic at all times. 

"Ultra Magnus! Quick! It's an emergency!" The teal and white mini-bot grabbed Mags' massive arm and threw all his weight into the impossible task of dragging him along. 

"What's wrong?!" Mags shouted, leaping to his feet and knocking over his drink. 

"There's no time! I'll explain on the way!" Tailgate sped out of the bar. 

"I'll be back!" Mags called over his shoulder, ducking out the door after Tailgate, surprisingly fast for his enormous size. 

Swerve shrugged in response to Ten's chirp of concern. The type of events that Tailgate deemed an emergency ranged from locking himself out of his room to the arrival of Unicron. He picked up Mags' datapad before the spilled energon spritzer could damage it and dried the table. Swerve glanced at the open file expecting to see a review of the ship schematics or a portion of the autobot code. He nearly fell over reading the meticulously specific document title, "Working Title – Gone With the Sprinklers – Revision 03." Quickly looking around the bar to make sure no one was watching, he pulled himself up onto Mag's extra tall bar stool and started reading the current chapter with a mischievous grin spreading across his face. 

\----------------------------------------------  
_Ultar Mgsuna raced down the long corridor rapidly filling with thick black smoke. Something must be wrong. Fully dedicated to the safety of his crew, he prepared for all outcomes. The explosion in the engine room should have triggered his custom designed sprinkler system. He installed it himself with a ceiling grid angled so perfectly it would cause the architect of the universe to weep. Each pipe welded with such painstaking precision that would bring the finest surgeon to their knees. The entire system was pressure tested a thousand times until even a single molecule of water could not escape from an undesignated location. It was truly the crown achievement of all of the safety modifications to his massive ship_.  
\--------------------------------------------

“Really, Mags? Sprinkler systems?” Swerve chuckled before continuing to read.

\--------------------------------------------  
_When he arrived at the engine room, smoke poured out around the door. Strangely, it was locked from the inside so Ultar tore the door off its hinges and threw it aside. His sprinkler system should have extinguished this blaze before it grew into such an inferno. He had to investigate this matter personally._

__

__

_“Megatonn! What are you doing in here?” Ultar exclaimed upon finding the stoic silver bot working furiously at the control panels. He had locked the blast shields manually, containing the fire entirely in the engine compartment._

_“Trying to save the ship, you fool!” Megatonn yelled. “Now get out of here! Those blast shields won’t hold forever. I don’t want anyone else to get hurt. After the way everyone had accepted me in spite of my disreputable past, the least I can do is figure out a way to stop this fire.”_

_“I’m way ahead of you,” Ultar smiled. The blast shields prevented the intense heat from reaching the control room, where he placed the main sprinkler sensor. He made a mental note to install more heat sensors throughout the engine bay area. He never considered someone might physically stay behind to lower the blast shields. As soon as this disaster was averted, he would rectify this one flaw in his otherwise faultless system._  
\---------------------------------------------

“Ultar Mgsuna and Megatonn? Oh Mags, there’s thinly veiled and then there’s transparent,” Swerve giggled. He downed a partially finished drink from a glass Ten set on the counter to wash, no sense in letting it go to waste. He fully intended to set the datapad down and get back to work, but he just couldn’t help himself, he had to know what happened next.

\---------------------------------------------  
_Ultar pulled the lever to raise the blast shields then threw himself on top of Megatonn to protect him from the rush of intense heat. As soon as the door lifted and exposed the conflagration, the temperature in the room skyrocketed, tripping the heat sensor. Ultar’s sprinkler system stormed into action. Pressurized water flowed through his perfect grid and exploded out of meticulously placed nozzles filling the entire space so completely with cool mist that the fire didn’t stand a chance. In case the water tanks ran low, Ultar even installed an atomic fusion drive, capable of creating an infinite supply of additional water by combining the hydrogen and oxygen atoms in the air._

__

__

_He allowed himself a satisfied grin. His magnificent sprinkler system rained down liquid justice on the unruly inferno, reducing it to hissing steam in mere seconds, saving the ship and all sparks on board. It would have worked even faster, had it not been for Megatonn’s unexpected attempt at selfless heroism._

_“Why did you save me? After all I’ve done?”_

_Megatonn’s question snapped Ultar back into focus. He realized that he was still laying on top of his newest crew mate, effectively pinning him to the floor. White steam rose from the dying flames, swirling around the two of them. Water beads from the still operational sprinklers gathered on their armor, glistening like gemstones in the flickering light._

_“I’m… I’m… not sure,” came Ultar’s stuttering reply. He used to be so sure of everything, confident of his ability to assess any situation, but Megatonn’s arrival changed all that. He constantly challenged Ultar’s preconceptions, defying all he thought he knew._

_He started to get up when Megatonn grabbed him, pulled him closer, and purred “That’s not a real answer.”_  
\----------------------------------------------

Swerve yelped when the door to the bar swished open to reveal Ultra Magnus’ huge frame. He fumbled the datapad and spun around trying to hide the very obvious blush that lit up his face. Grabbing his rag, he began wiping down the table as innocently as possible.

“So…” he coughed, “what was Tailgate’s emergency?”

Ultra Magnus sighed and sat back down at his customary spot, “He is helping Rewind set up for late night movie time and needed help reaching the energon snacks on the top shelf. I have an unconfirmed suspicion that Whirl put them way up there. Remind me to talk to him regarding height-based pranks in the morning.”

“Of course!” Swerve hastily replied, on pins and needles hoping Mags didn’t notice the datapad was in a slightly different location from where he left it. 

Swerve quickly took stock of his bar. He had been so engrossed in Mags’ writing that he hadn’t noticed Mainframe and Jackpot slip out without paying their tab or leaving a tip. He would have to make them settle up tomorrow. Good old reliable Ten apparently continued cleaning by himself and was now nearly complete. Riptide had rolled over, but still cuddled his bar stool.

“Why not just get Cyclonus to reach them?” Swerve asked, pouring a new energon spritzer to replace the spilled one.

“Tailgate hasn’t told him they’re hosting the event in their hab suite yet.”

Suddenly an enraged shout echoed from far down the corridor, “WE’RE WHAT???” 

“Sounds like he just found out,” Swerve snickered.

“I’ll have to write him up for excessive noise during quite hours,” Ultra Magnus shook his head and took a sip of his drink.

“Don’t worry about that now,” Swerve waved dismissively. “Got time for a song or two? Please say yes!!”

“Okay,” Mags offered a reluctant smile, “but only since everyone else is gone. I’m in the mood for a true classic. Bring up ‘I Want it That Way’ by the Backstreet Boys.”

“One of my favorites,” Swerve smiled as he programed the karaoke machine. He could have sworn he heard a muffled squeal of delight coming from where Riptide lay curled up ‘asleep’ on the floor. 

Swerve poured another glass of energon and set it on the floor beside Riptide. He stretched out in a booth and beckoned for Ten to take a break and join him in listening to the dulcet tones of Ultra Magnus crooning timeless earth tunes. 

He kept thinking about what he read on Mags’ datapad. Swerve’s attention span was a fickle thing, not easily captured or ensnared, but he was so absorbed in Mags’ sprinkler fic that two deadbeats snuck out of his bar without paying. As much as he wanted to read the rest of it, he respected Mags’ secrecy. Like his music, he would share it when and if he wanted to. Until then, Swerve felt extremely lucky that he was one of the very few privileged bots that Mags let listen to him sing. After-hours on karaoke night were unquestionably the absolute best!

**Author's Note:**

> This had to be done. I've been thinking about Ultra Magnus writing his sprinkler fanfics since reading LL #20!
> 
> Thanks for reading and joining me on this wild ride!
> 
> As always, I love getting your kudos and comments!


End file.
